Sponge bath it is.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
