remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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