there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
im on a boat
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