i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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