I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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