eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
