Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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