seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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