She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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