"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
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He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
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110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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