I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
