Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
