you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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