So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
