Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
