I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
