Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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