Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just invented taco cereal.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
