I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
