I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
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