It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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