he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
