Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
