She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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