Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
