drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
