Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize