We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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