just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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