so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
