I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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