i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
