home. puking in laundry basket.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I have post one night stand depression
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
