he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
