a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize