i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
