quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
