I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
