You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
