so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
