he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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