K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
FUCK WHALES
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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