my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
