That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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