you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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