just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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