come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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