In the future we'll all be gay
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
