her vagine was all disorganized.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Randomize
