i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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