And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
