chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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