I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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