Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
