Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
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