ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
