He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
