Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
