Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I have fence marks all over my body
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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