you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
