I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
