like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
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Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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