i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
