he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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